Dark Chains by Braxton LaTasha "Tacha B."

Author:Braxton, LaTasha "Tacha B." [Braxton, LaTasha "Tacha B."]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: LaTasha Braxton
Published: 2018-04-06T16:00:00+00:00

Broken

During this time, I was trying to finish up my college courses online. But then my financial aid ran out, and I couldn’t afford to pay the remainder on my own. Plus, my injured Achilles’ tendon had to be repaired with nerve-replacement surgery - the reason why I had to wear that long, thick cast that went all the way up to my thigh. It was the most uncomfortable feeling to endure at the time, particularly when I was expected to literally do everything for myself.

If I needed food, I had to go to the grocery store to get it. So I would drive with my left leg while my right was propped up on the passenger's seat. I would struggle into the grocery store, hopping and out of breath at times from using my crutches. I had to be careful not to fall and injure my baby, so I took small, calculated hops, pushing a grocery cart with my left hand while balancing myself on one crutch with my right hand. My other crutch would be placed in the grocery cart with my food as I hopped from aisle to aisle.

Most of the time, I would have to carry out about three to four bags in each hand out of the grocery store. I would fight back tears as I hopped toward my truck, just wanting to fall down on the ground, grocery bags and all. At times, the only thing I wanted to do was just give up and cry.

People would stare and ask if I needed help, but I always said, “No, thank you.” Of course they were right; I did need the help. And we all knew it. I didn't say no because I didn't want someone’s kind assistance. Lord knows how much I wanted and needed it. I wanted it badly. But in my mind, I just couldn't accept it .

In my mind, I needed to train myself to be able to do these things on my own. I knew I was weakened and broken down from all the abuse. And I knew I needed to get stronger. So this was my way of doing it. The way I looked at it, I was alone and needed to learn how to depend on myself and only myself.

Nonetheless, I remember trembling at the look on people's faces when they saw my struggles - this pregnant girl with her growing belly and heavy bags barely making it to her truck on her crutches. Their sadness and concern was practically tangible, exactly like with the nurses, EMTs and doctors at that hospital. They hurt just looking at me, as if they wanted nothing more than to ignore my assurances that I was just fine, grab my bags and bring them to the truck already.

It was like this everywhere I went.

Yet I really was doing my best to prepare. I knew it would just be my child and me, so I was training myself to gain the strength I needed to do this - to be a single mother.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.